MY LITTLE PATCH OF HONEY

When I was a kid
it seemed very important to have a
tan.
I was as pallid as those
asparagus they grow
in caves.
We lived in Illinois
and I prayed for the golden blessing
of the sun
and let it radiate onto me
as often as possible
which was only in summer and then
not every day.
I had an anomalous patch of skin
on my left arm
above my elbow
and this patch was smooth and dark
and tanned very easily.
I thought,
If only my whole body could have
the skin of this little patch of
honey.
The rest of me turned
rhubarb red for a couple of
days and then my skin
would fall off   
like a self-loathing
snake,
always the same plain
pale dope
underneath.
Now,
years later
I live in the desert
where there are so many sunny days
it’s not funny
and I cover up when I go outside
with long sleeves
and hats
and sunscreen lotion.
And I am married to a
Mexican woman
who thinks the smooth
rich dark skin
that covers her entire body
is ugly.